We've all heard it, "65% of women have never been fitted for lingerie; 85% are wearing the wrong size; and 47% don't know what styles compliment their body type." As I was browsing the latest issue of Genlux magazine (my ultimate favorite fashion mag!) and I see a small article about a shop called Intimacy at the Westfield Century City mall in Century City (CA). This lingerie shop specializes in helping women of all shapes and sizes who are a 'bit green' when it comes to under garments, find the perfect styles specifically for them. With over 90 bra sizes to offer their clients, The Bra Fit Specialists have already appeared on both The Oprah Show and Tyra Banks Show and have 13 stores throughout the US.

I am definitely making a stop to Intimacy a priority in the near future! Every girls' intimacy drawer could always use some updating!

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"The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy."  ~Ellery Queen

I truly don't understand why women are hateful to one another. It's like everyday is a big competition; who has the better clothes, better hair, who's smarter, skinnier, etc. It's very sad. What's even more upsetting is that it's not just the young and dumb girls who are hateful, it's ADULT WOMEN! Women who should know better than to act in such a way. 

Women, in general, talk about how men make us insecure because they judge us solely on how we look and not for the person we are on the inside. This almost makes me laugh. Why? Because women judge each other more than men do! When men judge women, they are just being shallow. They have some kind of fantasy of the girl they want to be with. When it comes to women, they are just down right trying to be mean and hurtful. For no other reason than they are 1) jealous 2) insecure and 3) childish.

I work at a mall and you won't believe how many dirty looks I get from females daily over nothing! I've even heard a group of girls debating over whether or not my hair is real right behind me like I couldn't hear them! They were just waiting for me to say something smart so they could jump on me! (By the way, YES my hair is very real, I just take very good care of it.) If I'm feeling insecure about myself I am most certainly not going to let the person who is making feel that way know it! By them being rude and obnoxious only lets me know that I have something they want. When you get to be a certain age you realize that there is way too much going on in the world to be focused on petty things.

I may not always be 100% comfortable with who I am, BUT that doesn't mean that I'm going to be mean and make someone else feel bad about themselves. I have no problem whatsoever telling another female that her hair is nice or that I like her shoes etc. If women admired each other more there would be so much more peace! People are so scared of being nice to one another! Why? I shouldn't feel like a jerk because I gave YOU a compliment! If someone compliments you, be thankful, be nice! On the other end, if you see a girl who has great hair, killer shoes, or a handbag to die for...TELL HER...ADMIRE HER!! STOP being mean! :)

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The answer to this question is priceless! Everyone has some kind of idea of what type of person that they desire to be with, whether they be tall, dark and handsome, super rich and loaded, someone from a different country, etc. So what happens when a guy (or girl) who isn't any of the things that you want in a significant other comes along and grabs your attention? Do you brush them off because you know EXACTLY what you want or do you set your list of wants aside to see what may become of it?

Most people will brush them off with the thought of "I will not settle," but is altering your list of wants more important than what may be a need? What you want may not always be what's best for you in the long run. I too have qualities that I would prefer to have in a significant other but I often wonder, when a guy who I may not immediately be attracted to "Hmmm what if he's the one?" The guy who constantly chases you and you seem to never have time for him because there is just 'something' about him that you don't 'want', what if you turning away your soul mate?

More than half of the qualities that men and women say they want in a mate are unrealistic and they themselves cannot offer what it is that they demand. Every once in a while when a guy tries to talk to me and I'm not interested I walk away thinking "Oops, was that my husband?" With that being said, I think that people should be more open when it comes to dating. Now I'm not saying to lower your standards but make sure that the qualities that you look for in a mate are relevant and not materialistic and shallow.

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Now that I am an adult, it is somewhat easier dealing with my insecurities. As with any teenage girl going through puberty, I was VERY insecure about myself. I was depressed to the point where I would cry myself to sleep every night because I did not like who I saw when I looked into the mirror. I weighed 80lbs (+/-) in high school, and I weigh 85lbs (+/-) as a 21 year old adult. I was always skinny, my whole life, but for whatever reason (which I will reveal later) I could not accept it. How fun is it to roam through your best friends' or your older cousins' closet looking for cool things that you don't have? Well, I was never able to do that because all of my friends were what I considered to be 'normal' sized. Maybe it would have been easier for me to accept me for who I was if people wouldn't constantly state the obvious about me. "OMG you are so skinny," "Oh baby you need to eat," "I wonder what she's doing to stay so skinny." Really??

How would it make you feel to always having people pointing out what you considered to be your biggest flaw? In the media, the size 00 models are highly criticized for their unNATURAL appearances and the thick, J.Lo-esque type of figures are praised for having the courage to feel comfortable in their own skin. Now don't get me wrong, the size models who do 'things' to maintain their size and contracts is not okay by any means; And Jennifer Lopez is very beautiful, she is someone that I truly admire, she has a great body and she's not afraid to show it off. But even still, there are some gray areas. Where do the NATURALLY slim women come into play (especially in the African American community)? If you're skinny you're anorexic or bulimic and if you're a size 6 or more you are considered to be a real woman? This furthermore prevented me from accepting my NATURAL body shape.

Where was I supposed to fit in? I was made this way! I wanted so badly to have what people thought to be a nice body, I became obsessed with it. I would force myself to eat even if I wasn't hungry, I would eat late at night in bed (you know the old saying "don't eat before bed or else you'll get fat'), I drank weight gain protein shakes, weight gain pills, ate foods that I didn't even like because 'someone' said it would add a few pounds to my frame. I loved myself, I thought I was a smart girl, very driven with a good head on my shoulders, but even with all of those qualities I still felt that I was almost not good enough.

Then comes the guys, you won't believe how many times I have heard "She's skinny but she's fine," Why can't I just be "fine" or "beautiful?" My 'flaw' always has to be pointed out before a compliment is handed over. I would constantly feel like when I found a great guy that he would end up leaving me for someone who was thick and had more 'to hold on to.' I know that there is someone for everyone but I pray that I'm not left with scraping the bottom of the barrel for whatever guys are left just because I'm little! I want a hot sexy guy too! (This male blogger has a good head on his shoulders when it comes to this topic!)

What men, women, and the entire world needs to understand is that people come in all shapes and sizes. Just because someone is a size 00 does not mean that she has an eating disorder, and just because someone is a size 10 does not define them as a 'real woman,' weighing in at 85lbs I will straight up tell you that I AM a real woman and I dare you tell me different! All women should be praised with their size not being a factor. Being naturally skinny is okay (guess how many times I had/have to tell myself that?!), and there are celebrities who are thin framed and proud of it who I admired more than words!

Zoe Saldana (I LOVE HER!!)

Miss Thandie Newton

And I am a perfect fit!

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