Alcohol Quotes

Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about Drinking


A man that lives in alcohol, will die from alcohol too.

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.

Wine is bottled poetry.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

I drink therefore I am.

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!

A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Here’s to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one!

Drinking and driving mix only when you’re mixed up.

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful.

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.

Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.

Wine hath drowned more men than the sea.

Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.

I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.

The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.

I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.

Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink.

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

Alcoholism isn’t a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.

A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I have made an important discovery…that alcohol,taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.

Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!

This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.

Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made to make men glad.

I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

He that drinks fast pays slow.

Of all meat in the world drink goes down the best.

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

When the wine is in, the wit is out.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

When money’s tight and hard to get And your horse is also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.

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